"Crop Circles the Immoral Way"

When I was about 20ish I had a group of buddies that were always present{after work} to be there for a good old fashioned "crop tour". We usually started our weekends on Thursday night, we had to warm up for the "Weekend" We usually began with a 24 and 3-4 guys touring the back roads, very often running into another carload of guys doing the same thing. That meant that we had to pull into a field or bush and party together. Of course when all the brewsky's were gone we drove home and got a couple hours sleep before work the next day. Therefore we usually started the "Weekend" dog tired, but hey we were "20ish"
This particular weekend, mom and dad were out of town and of course dad prior to leaving, gave his warning "Be Good" well so much for obedience. A trip to the local "Beer Fest" proved to be exhilarating and long after the fest closed we were still at. I don't really remember going to bed that night, but I do remember it being really late and there was a full moon. So we did what every drunk redneck would do we got out my shotgun and proceed to blow holes in the moon, well at least untill all the amo was gone. I didn't give much thought to Dunc and Grace across the road trying to sleep.
The next thing you know its mid morning and we are still at it, I guess we were either tough or stupid {or both} back then. One of the guy's "Tex" noticed we had a riding lawn mower in the garage and thought he should take it for a ride. Cool! Of he goes around the lawn, but of course he needed more of a challenge, so into a thigh high field of oats that our neighbor Johny McGill was growing.
Round and around he went and we all laughed so hard cause all you could see was the top of his head. {We were not thinking much about the oats}
Anyway cut to the chase, and mom and dad come home. MaNNNN did the shit hit the fan. When dad asked me "what the Hell did you do" I did the only resposible thing I could do. "I lied" I told him that my buddy Gary had gone for a ride. I wasn't supposed to hang around with Tex.
Its all kind of blurry after that, it might have been caused by the kick in ass, but who knows. Any way as luck would have it the next time my dad sees Gary also known as Jack? it's at church. And in he dives wanting to know what the F@#$$%%^ he was thinking driving around in Johny's oats, well I guess you could say that Jack was caught off gaurd and ended up blathering away until dad got disgussted and left.
Man I caught it again when I saw Jack again,,,,,, ah the life and times!!!
Till the day he died dad still thought it was Jack that ran down the Oats.

"Hook, Line and Stinker"

Back in the day, my older sister Bonnie and I were inseperable. She was just a tad of a "Tomboy" and we did everthing together, life was one big competition. Some of the stuff we would get into was, by todays standards, front page news, but back then a good old fashioned spanking would repair wrong doing.
Anyway this day was a hot and sunny summer day and we decided to go fishin.We lived on a farm that had a pond as a water source for the livestock. It had grown in with weeds so my dad, bless his soul, threw some catfish in it to clean it up a bit. By the way fishin for us was a stick with a line tied to it and a hook with a big fat worm and usually a nut for a sinker.
There was no trick to it, just lay the line out behind you and give the stick a quick flip and after the line hit the water just sit down and wonder what the world was all about. A tug would indicated a hit and after the catch throw it back in and do it all over again.
This day was no different, except, when Bonnie gave her pole a flick it caught on a weed, no worries just give 'er a yank. A good swift yank sent the hook flyin' right into the back of her leg, "oooooooouuuwwweeeeeeyyou" there were a few other coloured words that shouldn't be printed here, but you get the drift. Off to house I ran to get help, Dad heads to the pond , grumbling all the way about his dinner waiting. He gets a pair of pliers and tells her to bend over { the hook was at the top part of the leg if you know what I mean} now the squeeling gets goin' in earnest, as well as some cryin' and wailin'.
No matter which way he twisted or turned the hook, it wouldn't come out. I'm pretty sure that's the day in history that they added a new note to the voice scale. Sooo off to see Doc Cantelon, and on arrival after he stopped laughing, a quick nick with his scalpel and out come the hook, worm and all.
It is kind of an anti climatic ending but we always told that story at our family dinners and I know for fact thats the biggest fish she ever caught.