When I was about 20ish I had a group of buddies that were always present{after work} to be there for a good old fashioned "crop tour". We usually started our weekends on Thursday night, we had to warm up for the "Weekend" We usually began with a 24 and 3-4 guys touring the back roads, very often running into another carload of guys doing the same thing. That meant that we had to pull into a field or bush and party together. Of course when all the brewsky's were gone we drove home and got a couple hours sleep before work the next day. Therefore we usually started the "Weekend" dog tired, but hey we were "20ish"
This particular weekend, mom and dad were out of town and of course dad prior to leaving, gave his warning "Be Good" well so much for obedience. A trip to the local "Beer Fest" proved to be exhilarating and long after the fest closed we were still at. I don't really remember going to bed that night, but I do remember it being really late and there was a full moon. So we did what every drunk redneck would do we got out my shotgun and proceed to blow holes in the moon, well at least untill all the amo was gone. I didn't give much thought to Dunc and Grace across the road trying to sleep.
The next thing you know its mid morning and we are still at it, I guess we were either tough or stupid {or both} back then. One of the guy's "Tex" noticed we had a riding lawn mower in the garage and thought he should take it for a ride. Cool! Of he goes around the lawn, but of course he needed more of a challenge, so into a thigh high field of oats that our neighbor Johny McGill was growing.
Round and around he went and we all laughed so hard cause all you could see was the top of his head. {We were not thinking much about the oats}
Anyway cut to the chase, and mom and dad come home. MaNNNN did the shit hit the fan. When dad asked me "what the Hell did you do" I did the only resposible thing I could do. "I lied" I told him that my buddy Gary had gone for a ride. I wasn't supposed to hang around with Tex.
Its all kind of blurry after that, it might have been caused by the kick in ass, but who knows. Any way as luck would have it the next time my dad sees Gary also known as Jack? it's at church. And in he dives wanting to know what the F@#$$%%^ he was thinking driving around in Johny's oats, well I guess you could say that Jack was caught off gaurd and ended up blathering away until dad got disgussted and left.
Man I caught it again when I saw Jack again,,,,,, ah the life and times!!!
Till the day he died dad still thought it was Jack that ran down the Oats.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
"Hook, Line and Stinker"
Back in the day, my older sister Bonnie and I were inseperable. She was just a tad of a "Tomboy" and we did everthing together, life was one big competition. Some of the stuff we would get into was, by todays standards, front page news, but back then a good old fashioned spanking would repair wrong doing.
Anyway this day was a hot and sunny summer day and we decided to go fishin.We lived on a farm that had a pond as a water source for the livestock. It had grown in with weeds so my dad, bless his soul, threw some catfish in it to clean it up a bit. By the way fishin for us was a stick with a line tied to it and a hook with a big fat worm and usually a nut for a sinker.
There was no trick to it, just lay the line out behind you and give the stick a quick flip and after the line hit the water just sit down and wonder what the world was all about. A tug would indicated a hit and after the catch throw it back in and do it all over again.
This day was no different, except, when Bonnie gave her pole a flick it caught on a weed, no worries just give 'er a yank. A good swift yank sent the hook flyin' right into the back of her leg, "oooooooouuuwwweeeeeeyyou" there were a few other coloured words that shouldn't be printed here, but you get the drift. Off to house I ran to get help, Dad heads to the pond , grumbling all the way about his dinner waiting. He gets a pair of pliers and tells her to bend over { the hook was at the top part of the leg if you know what I mean} now the squeeling gets goin' in earnest, as well as some cryin' and wailin'.
No matter which way he twisted or turned the hook, it wouldn't come out. I'm pretty sure that's the day in history that they added a new note to the voice scale. Sooo off to see Doc Cantelon, and on arrival after he stopped laughing, a quick nick with his scalpel and out come the hook, worm and all.
It is kind of an anti climatic ending but we always told that story at our family dinners and I know for fact thats the biggest fish she ever caught.
Anyway this day was a hot and sunny summer day and we decided to go fishin.We lived on a farm that had a pond as a water source for the livestock. It had grown in with weeds so my dad, bless his soul, threw some catfish in it to clean it up a bit. By the way fishin for us was a stick with a line tied to it and a hook with a big fat worm and usually a nut for a sinker.
There was no trick to it, just lay the line out behind you and give the stick a quick flip and after the line hit the water just sit down and wonder what the world was all about. A tug would indicated a hit and after the catch throw it back in and do it all over again.
This day was no different, except, when Bonnie gave her pole a flick it caught on a weed, no worries just give 'er a yank. A good swift yank sent the hook flyin' right into the back of her leg, "oooooooouuuwwweeeeeeyyou" there were a few other coloured words that shouldn't be printed here, but you get the drift. Off to house I ran to get help, Dad heads to the pond , grumbling all the way about his dinner waiting. He gets a pair of pliers and tells her to bend over { the hook was at the top part of the leg if you know what I mean} now the squeeling gets goin' in earnest, as well as some cryin' and wailin'.
No matter which way he twisted or turned the hook, it wouldn't come out. I'm pretty sure that's the day in history that they added a new note to the voice scale. Sooo off to see Doc Cantelon, and on arrival after he stopped laughing, a quick nick with his scalpel and out come the hook, worm and all.
It is kind of an anti climatic ending but we always told that story at our family dinners and I know for fact thats the biggest fish she ever caught.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A Case of Broken Window "Pain"
Starting this post I want to set things straight, I mean no ill will to my loved little sister Carole. It just seems that in my "middle" years it is easier to remember backwards in years than forwards.
I am only guessing at ages here but I imagine Carole at 8 or 9, that means I'm 10 or 11 and Bonnie is acting like 20 or so, but more like 14 or 15. Bonnie was always a "Tomboy" and I thank her for that as we always hung out together, still do when we get a chance.
Anyways Bonnie and I were at "it" as usual and somehow a window got broken, maybe a baseball maybe a stick who knows, and for this story who cares.
Anyway a new pane of glass is required. You have to remember that in 1963 most people didn't have at home cold storage. Our family was no different and we kep't our meat etc. in a locker in the cold storage unit in West Lorne.{I used to remember the name, oh well} It was Dad and Caroles turn to make the weekly trip into town for groceries and in this case glass.
So into town they go, Dad in his bib overalls and little Carole listening to him grumble about the carelessnous of the other two. 1st stop was Fisher&Kemps hardware to pick up the glass. When done they went out and put the glass on the back seat of the car and headed on to the cold strage locker for the weeks supply of meat. Dad stops to visit with some neighbors for a bit and then says "I better get this meat home before it thaws" On arriving back at the car "in a hurry" he promptly throws the meat into the back seat and you guessed it, breaks the new glass.
Back into Fisher& Kemps for more glass. Knowing Dad, I'm sure the air was blue the whole way. He gets the second new pane of glass safely into the back seat, turns around and bumps into our neighbors from across the road, Dunc& Grace. They jaw for a while as he fills them in on the days events, and he says to Carole "lets get that meat home". Carole runs around the car and jumps in the backseat, and you guessed it, lands on the glass.{thankfully they wrapped it in paper back then}
Now Carole knows just how pissed Dad is about the glass thing already, so she does the most logical thing an 8 year old would do. She just sits there and doesn't say a word all the way home. Once there dad takes the meat into the house and Carole hightails it for the barn.
A while later Dad desides to put the glass into the window, goes to the car to find the broken glass and Carole is nowhere to be found. Sooo we start looking for her, the whole family, and she is gone. Dad's bad temper builds, till we all realize we can't find her. We look high and low until she is found hiding in our hay fort in the haymow.
She is ballin her eyes out and says to dad "I didn't want you to be mad" She also knew that we recieved a spankin for breaking the window and she didn't want one too.
So in the future we learned that if you cry ahead of time, the chances are greatly reduced of gettin a spankin.{certainley not always}
I am only guessing at ages here but I imagine Carole at 8 or 9, that means I'm 10 or 11 and Bonnie is acting like 20 or so, but more like 14 or 15. Bonnie was always a "Tomboy" and I thank her for that as we always hung out together, still do when we get a chance.
Anyways Bonnie and I were at "it" as usual and somehow a window got broken, maybe a baseball maybe a stick who knows, and for this story who cares.
Anyway a new pane of glass is required. You have to remember that in 1963 most people didn't have at home cold storage. Our family was no different and we kep't our meat etc. in a locker in the cold storage unit in West Lorne.{I used to remember the name, oh well} It was Dad and Caroles turn to make the weekly trip into town for groceries and in this case glass.
So into town they go, Dad in his bib overalls and little Carole listening to him grumble about the carelessnous of the other two. 1st stop was Fisher&Kemps hardware to pick up the glass. When done they went out and put the glass on the back seat of the car and headed on to the cold strage locker for the weeks supply of meat. Dad stops to visit with some neighbors for a bit and then says "I better get this meat home before it thaws" On arriving back at the car "in a hurry" he promptly throws the meat into the back seat and you guessed it, breaks the new glass.
Back into Fisher& Kemps for more glass. Knowing Dad, I'm sure the air was blue the whole way. He gets the second new pane of glass safely into the back seat, turns around and bumps into our neighbors from across the road, Dunc& Grace. They jaw for a while as he fills them in on the days events, and he says to Carole "lets get that meat home". Carole runs around the car and jumps in the backseat, and you guessed it, lands on the glass.{thankfully they wrapped it in paper back then}
Now Carole knows just how pissed Dad is about the glass thing already, so she does the most logical thing an 8 year old would do. She just sits there and doesn't say a word all the way home. Once there dad takes the meat into the house and Carole hightails it for the barn.
A while later Dad desides to put the glass into the window, goes to the car to find the broken glass and Carole is nowhere to be found. Sooo we start looking for her, the whole family, and she is gone. Dad's bad temper builds, till we all realize we can't find her. We look high and low until she is found hiding in our hay fort in the haymow.
She is ballin her eyes out and says to dad "I didn't want you to be mad" She also knew that we recieved a spankin for breaking the window and she didn't want one too.
So in the future we learned that if you cry ahead of time, the chances are greatly reduced of gettin a spankin.{certainley not always}
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
"Life and Times"
When my folks were alive, every holiday saw us all sitting at the table scarffing copious amounts of my moms holiday dinner. We all would take turns, but it was usually my dad that would say something like "Remember the Time" This would lead from 15 minutes to an hour of stories of "stuff" that happened in the past.
All of us kids were either victums off, or participants in some of these stories. Of course over the years they would get embelished a bit, but somehow that was OK.
Sitting here thinking about just how I am going to start this story I have reflected on many of these events and I think for today I'll post a list of the ones I remember and do a seperate post for each one. Duh! That makes sense.
1-A Case Of Broken Window "Pain"
2-Hook Line and "Stinker"
3-Crop Circles the "Immoral" Way
4-Balboa not Magellan
5-I just reached over to adjust the "Radio"
6-Ur Doing What?
7-OW! that hurt
8-I'll race ya!
9-WOW what a Buzz!
10-Why a man should never "LIE"
All of us kids were either victums off, or participants in some of these stories. Of course over the years they would get embelished a bit, but somehow that was OK.
Sitting here thinking about just how I am going to start this story I have reflected on many of these events and I think for today I'll post a list of the ones I remember and do a seperate post for each one. Duh! That makes sense.
1-A Case Of Broken Window "Pain"
2-Hook Line and "Stinker"
3-Crop Circles the "Immoral" Way
4-Balboa not Magellan
5-I just reached over to adjust the "Radio"
6-Ur Doing What?
7-OW! that hurt
8-I'll race ya!
9-WOW what a Buzz!
10-Why a man should never "LIE"
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Thinking of my Dad!
As I recall, I was about 10 years old. My dad was a farmer and so wanted his farm to suceed. We were standing looking out at a field of "Treefoil"[ thats a kind of hay you can grow for cattle feed]. He had had a tough go the last few years and had blown his family savings for the haylage feed of the future.
No one in the area had grown this before and the crop looked teriffic. When in flower as it was now it kind of looks like Canola or Mustard, the flowers are as bright yellow as anything you can imagine. He was so proud. Occaisionally throughout the field there were Bull thistles growing among his precious Treefoil and he announced his displeasure, in the language so typical of him,"goddamn weeds"
I asked him just why they bothered him so much and he said, if we don't cut them out this year there will be 10 times as many next year. I thought they looked kind of cool standing there 2 to3 feet above the Treefoil, with there heads so big and I told him so. He said, do you see the fluff right at the top, kinda looks like goose down? I sure did, well that's the seeds and there is a million of them, he says, and if we ever get successful enough at this farming and we can buy another farm I want to call them "Thistledown Farms" cause thats what grows best in this damn hard ground.
"Incedentially the Treefoil turned out so good that he harvested seed from it and made a killin"
No one in the area had grown this before and the crop looked teriffic. When in flower as it was now it kind of looks like Canola or Mustard, the flowers are as bright yellow as anything you can imagine. He was so proud. Occaisionally throughout the field there were Bull thistles growing among his precious Treefoil and he announced his displeasure, in the language so typical of him,"goddamn weeds"
I asked him just why they bothered him so much and he said, if we don't cut them out this year there will be 10 times as many next year. I thought they looked kind of cool standing there 2 to3 feet above the Treefoil, with there heads so big and I told him so. He said, do you see the fluff right at the top, kinda looks like goose down? I sure did, well that's the seeds and there is a million of them, he says, and if we ever get successful enough at this farming and we can buy another farm I want to call them "Thistledown Farms" cause thats what grows best in this damn hard ground.
"Incedentially the Treefoil turned out so good that he harvested seed from it and made a killin"
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